The Most Evil Food Known to Man

I'm sure everyone has watched Fear Factor.  And, I'm sure you grossed out as Joe Rogan made contestants eat fried tarantulas or raw sheep eyes.  I had a hard time stomaching some of the atrocities bestowed on the poor souls vying for ten grand.  But there is nothing on that show worse than the culinary obscenity that is Twinkies.

Those repulsive yellow spongy cream filled log of preservatives has been the bane of my existence since I was a child.

I can remember my dear, sweet Momma coming home from the Piggly Wiggly with the groceries and giving me wondrous new treat.  I admired the yellow nugget and bit in.  "Not bad," I thought as I tasted the vanilla sponge cake.

But, that happy feeling was short lived.  I took the next bite and was shocked to taste the filling.  I don't know what cat vomit tastes like.  But, I am sure it is not too far from the taste I had in my mouth.  I immediately spit it out and hacked and gagged my way out of the kitchen.  

As the years have passed by, I my disdain for Twinkies has only grown.  The fact that their illusive expiration date gives them a shelf life longer than a Vampire's life make me think they might not be of this world.  

The unnatural yellow coloring is also suspect.  

Set a Twinkie on your from porch for a week and you will discover two things.  First, the animals in the neighborhood will not touch it.  And, second, it will still be of the same consistency at the end of the experiment.

What conclusion can you reach from this?  Cockroaches and lawyers have found another partner after a nuclear war.