Porn of Yore

The internet has completely changed the way teenage perverts got their jollies.  Sure, you're a responsible adult and have put up all those firewalls to keep Junior's mind pure and uncorrupted.  Think again folks.  My son's an adult and admitted that he could get past Net Nanny faster than I could log on.  I guess that might have been the beginning of his ambition to be a programmer.

Back in the day, we would have to sneak around and check out the Sears catalog lingerie section.  If we were lucky, there would be a real lingerie catalog laying around the house.

The selections were very Battlestar Galactica inspired.  

Every month we would look forward to the National Geographic arriving.  It was time to sneak into the bathroom and hope there was a naked African tribe being featured.

I ran a statistical analysis of nudity in National Geographic.  The journal would only give us the present of boobies no more than twice a year.  The other ten issues would give us happy penguins of the arctic or hot babes like this.

As we got older, we needed more.  Time to do a little recon around the house.  My dad hid his Playboys underneath the night stand.  That's very clever, old man.  But, not clever enough.

Unfortunately, my dad wasn't a subscriber or regular reader.  I think his stash didn't get an addition more than one or two times a year.

Fortunately, after a while, I learned that older cousins and friends with big brothers were a great source of material.  With the addition of the new stashes we  discovered Penthouse!  Oh happy day.  Boosch le grande.  Who knew such things existed.

As time went on, we built our own collections.  Mine was as big as the library of congress.  

Then we found the greatest piece of literature ever written

I would like to personally thank Xaviera Hollander for making study hall a much more interesting place.  I didn't understand many of the euphamisms she used.  But, my fertile mind was making it up as I went.  That book got passed around so many times.  I surprised we didn't read the words of the pages.

Videos didn't exist back then.  There was no option to watch real porn.  We did have B movies, though.

The constant feast of slasher films and women's prison movies kept us at the twin cinemas every weekend.

There's too much adult material out there today.  There was something special about having to search out, find and hide our porn.  It created what was essentially the longest most fruitful hobby I ever had.