How Jimmy Buffett Can Save the World

Twenty years ago, when I lived in Atlanta, I never missed a Jimmy Buffett concert.  His shows as much about the fans and his stories as they were about the music.  Before I moved away, I caught his show at the Fabulous Fox Theatre.  Before he sang "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw," he postulated on a way to end communism in Russia.  

I've been thinking about our troubles in the Middle East and the current recession and have concluded that what Jimmy said twenty years ago, might work today.  So, with all credit going to Bubba, here's how we get out of the mess we're in:


We've been in this Afghanistan mess longer than the Beatles were together.  Also, our economy is in the dumper.  So, here's an idea to solve both problems at once.


First of all we withdraw our troops.  We take the money is costs us to keep our troops there and change them into crisp new five dollar bills.  Right after the last soldier leaves, we fly over with formations of B1s and carpet bomb all Al Qaeda strongholds with the money.


We let them keep that money for a couple weeks.  They can walk around with those Lincolns in their pockets. It will get soft and warm.  


Next, we fly over again and drop catalogs.  We'll drop them the likes of:

Cabella's

L.L. Bean

Victoria's Secret

The terrorists will get the catalogs and feel the money warming their pockets.  After they browse the back section of Victoria's Secret, they'll get the idea.

They'll order the stuff.  We'll get full employment.  The economy will recover.  And the Al Qaeda will have there hip waders and push up bras.