Moonlight over Minsk

In case you've been wondering why I haven't posted in the last few days.  I'm proud to say, I've had a life changing event occur.


Stoli Vodka ran a contest a few months ago.  I was very excited and entered over and over and over.

Unfortunately, I did not win.  But, I was motivated to go online and see if I could find me a Russian bride.  I logged onto discount_russian_brides.net.  For only $349.95 (plus shipping and handling) they promised to provide me with true love.

I took my Christmas card money and promptly sent it in.  Instantly, my screen was filled with beauties from Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Belarus, etc.

It was just like the Bachelor.  All these women vying for my attention.  After a few weeks, I settled on Svetlana from Minsk.

She worked at the Belrus Tractor factory installing carburetors. 


Her interests are:


Russian Hip Hop

   Going to the spa

  
The beach

And herring pickling

I knew she was a talented and special woman.  We decided we wer destined to be together, So I sent her money to come to Radiation Valley and begin our life together.


Last Thursday night, I went down to the Greyhound station to meet my new bride.  With great anticipation I waited as the passengers got off, one by one.  Finally, my lovely Svetlana descended the step like a Venus from heaven.

The trip had been a little hard on her.  I was sure after a shower and some makeup, she'd look fine.


She was tired and I didn't want to rush things.  That evening, she slept on the water bed and I slept on the couch.


I went to work the next morning and came home to a home cooked meal she'd prepared.  Borscht and Syrniki taste pretty good after you add green chili.


Over the weekend, we went to the monster truck show.  It reminded her of the tractor factory.  


We spent the rest of the weekend watching Bruce Willis movies.  After a few hours, she let me watch Steel Magnolias.  I cried, as I always do.


Monday morning, we went down to the courthouse and got married.  We spent a wonderful honeymoon in Gallup, enjoying the sights and indian casinos

We shared marital bliss two and a half times.  He lovemaking was "utilitarian" and "efficient."


We returned to the trail park earlier today.  It's heavenly bliss as she chain smokes watching Jersey Shore and I fall asleep in her strong arms.