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| Some things defy explanation |
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| I think I'm in love |
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| Reason no. 37 of why I am divorced |
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| Sometimes I would teleport from my uncle's house to my bed. I was amazing. |
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| They should send invitations to me with the following message: We know you have no intentions of attending. We sent you this as a courtesy. Good luck. We will see you at the next family funeral. |
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| My retirement plan |
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| Public Service Announcement: Jesus is tired of you using your religion as an excuse to be an asshole and a bigot. |
